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PROFILE 
PRIS ♥My name's Prissy. My world comes together with rainbows and everlasting sunshine. Billy's my white horse and Friends are my company. Pink is not my thing because I've got too many sweets in my life. |
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PROFILE
PRIS ♥My name's Prissy. My world comes together with rainbows and everlasting sunshine. Billy's my white horse and Friends are my company. Pink is not my thing because I've got too many sweets in my life. |
Links |
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Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Needs and the Wants What is it that I want? Daddy was telling me and bro that if we get GPA 4 next semester, he'll give us whatever we want. Then I asked myself, what is it that I want? Bro wanted an iPad, wanted a sponsorship for his driving liscence. I, didn't know what I wanted, or rather, I couldn't come up with something tangible. Yes, there are alot of things I want, just take a look at my lust-list. But are they that important to me? It's more a want than a need. I don't know what I need. Being need-less makes me idle, aimless. I take a look at me now. I have nothing going on, I don't need to wake up early to go to work, so I just force myself to sleep till late because it's not cool to wake up early during the holidays. I don't need to sleep early because I need to wake up early, and I stay awake every night, looking through useless things online, waiting for a reply from someone. I don't need to bother about my meals, because mummy and bro takes care of them for me. I bum at home everyday. Even daddy asks me how many steps I've walked in a day, because I'm so known for being a fat ass during the holidays. I can think about those nittygritty stuff, those useless stuff like how I'm going to work hard when school starts, how I'm going to prevent the cycles from happening, how I want to spend my birthday. But they're all things that I use to occupy myself, and they just disappear when I find something else to do. I may seem like I've got plans for my future, I could ask daddy to sponsor me to go overseas to study, but they're just part of the fanciful dreams I create for myself. I know, I won't survive overseas, I'll probably cry just 3 days into life there. I say, I want to take up nursing, I know, I'll come home complaining everyday about the dirty stuff I need to learn and do. I don't know what my life needs. I feel so aimless, or rather, my aims are so general they're so intangible. Don't judge me by how I carry myself on the outside. I may seem confident, I may seem I know where I want to head to, but I'm as weak as a little kid. I hide all my fears at home by acting like a crazy woman. I hide all my fears outside by just listening and not talking. I may show bits and pieces to different people, but no one knows the complete me. Even mummy doesn't, because I hide things from her too. Everything makes me feel so small, so tiny, like I shouldn't exist. Maybe it's mid-life crisis like ted says. I don't know. Maybe it's time for me to do some serious thinking. But then again, maybe I'll just leave this world tml. Labels: ramblings 10:20 AM
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